WHY VALUES ? (Part - 2)

Let me continue to share my thoughts on why values (See Part I of WHY VALUES blog post dated May 22-08).

I keep hearing, just as many of you must have heard, that values, principles etc are not for the present day competition. Many people who are aspiring for success, who are working their way up in life, and who are keen on accumulating wealth (in India we call them middle-class) have this notion that principled living, value-based living does not take us far. It won't allow us to grow. Such notion stems from the belief that the world around us is all bad and smart. To survive in such world, we can’t be good and true to our values.

In fact, in many seminars and conferences, I face this question that what you are saying about values is good for conference, but not in real world. They quote sometimes examples of their bosses who grew up the corporate ladder by following not necessarily values and principles. The mantra is therefore - success at any cost!

Prima facie, their argument seems to be having some truth in it however unacceptable to me internally. I know there is something missing. I can quote Built-to-last - a classic book on successful habits of visionary companies. But it all sounds very defensive to push through my agenda of values. I wanted some way where in I don’t have to be pushing too hard, but rather the audience see it for themselves.

I asked them the question: How many of you consider yourself as moderate to high success so far in your life and career? As expected, many hands went up proudly.

Then came my next question: How many of you followed crooked ways and broken your principles to reach where you have successfully reached today?

There was an uneasy silence. I thought point was almost made.

I said" when none of you broken your principles and values and still achieved moderate to high success so far, what gives you the impression that to be successful you need to shed your values and principles?"

To top it up, I asked another question. How many of you like to guide your children towards value-less, principle-less living?

There was silence all over.

I broke it again. So, while we may say and see some examples of successes that are not based on values, mostly we believe in it. But the question of "WHY VALUES" needs to be addressed for our satisfaction. Can I have your thoughts on it?

This time the responses were more spontaneous. The main reasons why we need values are:

• Values give us peace of mind


• We can be true to ourselves


• We don’t have to feel guilty


• We can have our heads high


• Our image will be in tact


• It can attract better reputation


• People tend to trust us more


• Our potential risk will be lower
  
  And lastly, some one summed up the whole discussion beautifully by saying:

"Values give us stability, lasting power and pay off in the long run"

Isn't that a strong enough business case for values?

WHY VALUES?

I was talking to a bunch of executives. I started with a provocative and fuzzy question -

• Are you value driven?
• Do you have values?
  

Predictably, I could see "what do you mean…of course we have values" kind of look on their face.

I repeated the questions so as to break the silence.

"Yes, we have values", sharp came the reply.

Then I asked my sequel question: why do you need values?

I added what I heard from many - "In fact, many believe that values are like barricades to achievement, speed-breakers to our progress, they force us to forgo opportunities…then why are you saying you have values? Aren't they deterrents to your growth?" I also quickly cautioned them not to be politically correct.

That was a tricky poser from me. It is a misty teaser. We get caught between what we know is right and the so called practical world. I have some views on the same. But I wanted to learn about how they react. You like to know the responses? Need to wait for my next blog post….

In the meanwhile, it may be a good idea to give a serious thought to the question:

• Why do you need values?


• Do they help or hamper in your success & growth?

DANCE IN THE RAIN

While starting to build SELF AWARENESS could be like opening the Pandora's box, it can nevertheless be handled with care and sensitivity. For beginners, it can be painful. It may feel exactly same as starting an exercise regime - one may go through inertia, your body may start paining, you may feel like giving up and so on. And if we persist, we become addicted to an extent that we can’t live without it.

When you start introspecting and trying to understand yourself, you may experience a sense of fuzziness; mixed messages; confusion with what you are and what you wanted to be; a sense of fear as if you are not like many around you; a kind of hesitation if you are becoming too philosophical and unrealistic and unfit for the present society and so on. It is quite natural! Its like the thunders that scare us as if earth is shaking; it all goes off once it starts to drizzle and then we can dance in the rain - drenching ourselves in the most poetic experience!

It should be a journey that we should start because we are inspired by it, not because we are forced into. Just like exercising after some body ailment and doctor's advice, we also get into self-introspection after some moving incident in our life. But do we need to wait for shocking incidents to learn about ourselves? Are we so boring to ourselves? Certainly not, I guess!

Here is a simple set of questions that I scribbled. They can serve as a starting point. If we know the answers to these questions with some sense of clarity, we must congratulate ourselves. That’s a great beginning! If you feel like, try it out - I attempted for myself.

• What do I have?


• What do I want to have?


• What do I need to have? (please note the difference between wants and needs)


• Why do I need it? What prompts me to have it?


• Am I capable of getting what I want?


• What guides me on my path?
  

SELF AWARENESS - Deal with it carefully!

In my earlier blog post (dated May 20, 08) - Personal Measures of success - I shared my thoughts how important it is to eat to feed own stomach. It also speaks about having personal clarity which can help us take important decisions and stand by them. All of this boils down to having self-awareness and constantly building on it.

Many renowned people spoke about it. In the book shops, we find many of the so-called easy to use booklets on self-improvement, They are useful in their own way. There are other authors like Robin Sharma, Stephen Covey, Deepak Chopra who excelled through their writings. I personally feel that no one can make any judgemental comment on any one's authorship. I for one believe that every book will have something to tell us. Its the style, conviction, ease etc that make some books suit our taste. Beyond that I don't want to undermine the effort of the author.

Among many of such writings, one article that appealed to my senses very much is the article by Peter Drucker: Managing Oneself, published a few years ago in Harvard Business Review. We all know Peter Drucker as a renowned 'GURU' in the field of management. It was surprising for me that after half a century of writing experience in management field, he chose to write an article on SELF. I was pleasantly surprised to see that. Anyways, a person of that stature writes about SELF, it catches our attention and also reinforces my belief that SELF is the center of much of the action around us.

While understanding self is important, there is a small danger for the beginners. Once we open up the exploration of SELF, we must also know how to steer it through meaningfully. Lest we may be more confused than what we were earlier. Thats leads to other question - what is SELF AWARENESS and how to approach it?

What are your personal measures of success?

I am currently teaching a course on personal effectiveness in Singapore. A group of experienced executives are taking part. I am making it as interactive as possible and also as introspective as possible. While I am facilitating the course teaching, as it happens always, I am also learning a lot. To teach is to learn twice!

We discussed about defining measures of success. Helping others to succeed, attaining targets, providing for essential needs of family, being happy with what one does etc cropped up as personal examples of success. These measures are so specific to each individual. I even asked the group to share and discuss with their spouses. I even alerted that the measures of success may differ between wife and husband. Differing is not a big issue as much as someone trying to impose his/her measures of success on others.

When I decided to let go of my well-paying corporate job so that I could succeed in starting up a firm on my own, I was pursuing my measure of success. However, for the world around, I should have become a bigger boss, earn more money, power and so on. When I left they were all there around me to sympathize for quitting the job and to offer their help in finding a better job with more money, power etc. They were wanting me to be successful - but as per their yardsticks and not mine!

When I asserted myself, stuck to my decision and decided to pursue my measures of success, there was general wonderment, resentment which slowly died down.

When I reflect back, the key was to have personal clarity as to what is that I am pursuing. If I was not very clear as to what I wanted to do, there would have been an element of doubt in me and I would have given in to those pressures around me.

Not pursuing ones own measures of success is like eating to feed next person's stomach and at the cost of keeping your soul starving. In retrospect, I am glad I was clear and did stick to my measures of success. What about you?

What are your measures of success? Are they genuinely yours?
Do you have a resolve and confidence to pursue success as per your yardsticks?

LIVING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT

I wrote about TAKE IT EASY policy in my earlier blog. Another dimension of TAKE IT EASY policy manifests itself as living in the present moment and not caring about things around us. Anything serious - personal values, relationships, long term goals, societal consciousness etc will not gel well with TAKE IT EASY policy. They are serious stuff, requires too much of thinking, and when we attempt to dialogue on it the atmosphere can become too heavy. Therefore, we quickly resort to TAKE IT EASY policy - don’t worry about all heavy stuff, instead enjoy the moment - however momentary it is!

We come across many with such light-hearted thinking. Can I continue to be one among them? Why not? What is my hesitation? Why can't I be like many? Are there any implications of the same if many adopt the same line of thinking?

There are plenty of authors who propagate "LIVING IN THE PRESENT" paradigm. When understood clearly it has lot of meaning. When we focus on the present, we focus on action and not so much the result (or benefit); we don’t unnecessarily worry about future; we value what we have at present; and so on.

When we stretch the logic of LIVING IN THE PRESENT, we over simply the same and make it equivalent of taking it easy. We don’t worry about world, we don’t worry about neighbor, we don’t care about society, we are not concerned about next generation. How does it matter if future is bleak - so long as I have what I want at present?

It is this style of convenient interpretation which creates the problem. We do not try to comprehend the complete meaning and context of aspects like living in the present, taking things easy etc.

How to feel light (take things easy) for oneself and live the present moment while remaining responsible towards the world around me? Am I asking for too much?

Take It Easy!

We all heard the often repeated phrase: "Take It Easy". We were advised on many occasions not to take things too seriously. It helped us indeed in reducing the stress and coping with pressures. However, when we stretch the logic, we end up taking up ourselves also very easy. Like many, I too did not take myself too seriously. I thought that’s the best way to live life - Take it easy!

On a few occasions, however, when some things happened and I pondered over them, I dared to listen to the buzz, the humming from within….it suddenly provided a deeper insight. It opened up new perspective. My inner self became a teacher to myself and thus born ME-AS-MY-TEACHER!

This blog is intended to share the personal insights and perspectives emerging of my reflections on some of the daily experiences. It is an attempt to take an uncommon look at common happenings!

I don’t intend to preach anyone through this blog. I have a feeling that when my inner feelings are shared with the world around me, it widens the perspective further, and provides greater depth! It will be a vehicle for my personal growth - to become a better human being and a better professional. If it advertently inspires some more people to shed the philosophy of Take It Easy and if more people introspect…it will be a bonus!