Yesterday I had this interesting experience when I was on a B-School campus. I was scheduled to have a luncheon discussion with one of my past students - who just completed the course and about to leave the campus. I thought he wanted some advice for his career.
When I joined him over the lunch table, he was all to nervous as to how to start. Slowly, he opened up saying he was not successful yet in getting a job offer and he was very anxious. In fact, he left his earlier job to pursue the management degree and now he is finding it delicate to share this news back home. What can I tell them? How long can I wait? What should I do? who can help me? How long can I hang around the campus? Why did I fail to get a job when some of my classmates managed to get? He was all nervous and anxious.
I had to empathize with him, encourage him, advice him and reassure him. I felt sad to see him in that state (i could recall how he was one of those very informal and somewhat casual student in the class)...he was all in despair...
As we were discussing over lunch, there came a family on the next table. We could make out from their discussions that the boy came to join the course and his parents came along to make him feel comfortable on the campus. He was oozing confidence and looking all trendy in his new clothes specially bought for the B-School campus. His head was high and there was a jig in the step...a sense of achievement for getting admission into the new course in the prestigious B-School. He was all with pride, hope and confidence...
I exchanged a glance with the student on my table...he had a tired smile on his face...it explained to me the thin difference between hope and despair...
What started well may not end well; what is not going well may not remain like that forever.
1 comment:
As you aptly put it, situations are transient. What matters is, what we do in that span. Way to get through is to focus on what is within the control of influence make the best use of it. No doubt it is a tough battle, is still doable - little by little at a time.
I empathize with your student. My learning is that we have a fixation on, I need a job:
- in this area of specialization only
- in this location only
- in this particular department only
That becomes our definition for success. Not achieving this puts us into a negative spiral and we search more vigorously with the same criteria. What is needed is to look at how much opportunity exists with these criteria and analyzing whether it is a dead-end. Once we understand this, our approach changes.
My suggestions are:
- open up and share situation with the parents. Parents are very accommodating. Do not waste your energy by worrying too much on this front.
- check whether the criteria is too rigid.
One has to remember that the journey towards the summit is never along the straight line.
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