Despair and Hope next to each other

Yesterday I had this interesting experience when I was on a B-School campus. I was scheduled to have a luncheon discussion with one of my past students - who just completed the course and about to leave the campus. I thought he wanted some advice for his career.

When I joined him over the lunch table, he was all to nervous as to how to start. Slowly, he opened up saying he was not successful yet in getting a job offer and he was very anxious. In fact, he left his earlier job to pursue the management degree and now he is finding it delicate to share this news back home. What can I tell them? How long can I wait? What should I do? who can help me? How long can I hang around the campus? Why did I fail to get a job when some of my classmates managed to get? He was all nervous and anxious.

I had to empathize with him, encourage him, advice him and reassure him. I felt sad to see him in that state (i could recall how he was one of those very informal and somewhat casual student in the class)...he was all in despair...

As we were discussing over lunch, there came a family on the next table. We could make out from their discussions that the boy came to join the course and his parents came along to make him feel comfortable on the campus. He was oozing confidence and looking all trendy in his new clothes specially bought for the B-School campus. His head was high and there was a jig in the step...a sense of achievement for getting admission into the new course in the prestigious B-School. He was all with pride, hope and confidence...

I exchanged a glance with the student on my table...he had a tired smile on his face...it explained to me the thin difference between hope and despair...

What started well may not end well; what is not going well may not remain like that forever.

What will they think?

Today, I made a mistake while performing my job. I sent some incomplete information while sending an e-mail. I realized shortly after the mail was released. I apologized to the concerned person and wanted to release the corrected mail.

Till I modified and sent the revised mail, I was so restless with myself. I was guilty of my mistake. Such silly mistake while sending such important information? What will they think??

There I am...what will they think? All the restlessness in me was because of the fear of what will they think or because of the realization that I made a mistake? Is it okay to constantly think what will others think? Do I need to be self-critical?

Why are we so stupid?

Why do we caught up in the traps of power, wealth, credit for what we do?

Should we always look for credit for what we do? Many elements in nature like rising sun, blooming flower, a growing tree do not bother for recognition, they perform their job irrespective of who is noticing and who is praising them. They commit themselves to what they are meant to do. We, the humans, are more complex beings; we like to perform when someone praises us, when someone rewards us...why can't we simply perform our duty just as nature does?

We know that this credit, this struggle for power, this endless pursuit of wealth is all meaningless since we know the climax - death. Then why are we made this way - pursuing in something that will not mean anything to us at the end of life. So, is there meaning in giving or craving? We look so stupid - having the knowledge to understand the meaninglessness and at the same time, running after the same!

• Can I do something because I am good at doing it - irrespective of others noticing it or not?
• Can I earn more so that I can give more?
• Can I perform something even if others take the credit -with the satisfaction that what needed to be done has been done?

Who inspired me?

It has been quite a while since I blogged. I have been caught up with so much of buzz around me - it left very little time for me to reflect and publish on my blog. Today in fact I am motivated to blog bcos someone asked me a question that made me really think. The question was:

Who inspired in the early part of your career?
Question is too simple. But it made me think. Surely so many come into our lives completely unexpected, some continue with us and some exit. When I reflect back, I could think of many who made a mark on me during my growing up years and as I contibue to grow! How can I place one person in front and say that person inspired me? Was it my father, mother, teacher, manager, friend, some towering personality, some GURU, some book...who inspired me?

Where did I draw my inspiration from and where do I continue to draw?

If I say that none of the above inspired me, then I must have been self-made. I evolved my self and I realized my inner strength and that inspired.

Is that true? Is it possible?

These are questions that are simple, yet powerful. If we discover the answers, it will be help us a great deal when ever we are falling short of energy and in search of inspiration. In other words,

We need to know our source of energy so as to replenish whenever we need so that we can live a life that is always full of energy.

As I continue my instrospection, you too can ponder over these questions.

Old fashined or trendy?

I was talking to a sixteen year old teenager. He was sharing the current excitement among his classmates. The trigger for their excitement stemmed from the idea of coming to college next Tuesday, marking attendance, skipping classes, sneaking out of college and jumping into a movie theatre with pop corn in hand. How exciting and adventurous?

The sixteen year old does not understand why they should skip college when the parents are absolutely open for them to watch a movie. In fact, they have enough money in their pockets and all the freedom to go for a movie. Unconvinced with the whole idea of skipping college for no reason, the sixteen old declined the idea mentally.

However, the dilemma for the sixteen year old boy is how to manage the peer pressure. All his friends want him to join the excitement which he is not convinced about. At the same time, they are good friends and he wants to feel close to them. There is also the other danger of being labeled as old fashioned if he does not act trendy.

What should the teenager do?

Why do we feel low sometimes?

At once, life may look like a drab with nothing exciting around. We search for something that can inspire us, ignite our spirit, and show us some direction. Why does it happen? Is it because we loose interest in what we are doing? Or is it because we fail to see a meaning what we are doing? To break this mood, one can get busy. Keeping oneself busy is the easiest thing to do - we can get into some activity, hop into a movie theatre, chat with friends, eat out or simply get hooked onto television. Even all such action to keep oneself busy does not excite. It is the internal vacuum that one needs to examine and be aware of. Ask oneself the questions like:

• Why am I experiencing such internal vacuum?
• Is it boredom? Am I seeking some change or variety in what I am doing?
• Is it a lack of meaning in what I am doing?
• Am I expecting something that I am not getting at the moment?
• Am experiencing any restlessness because what I wanted is not coming my way?
• Is it because someone criticized my work or no one recognized my work?
• Am I physically too tired?
• Am I experiencing temporary mood swing?
• Am I too anxious about some results to come my way?

An honest introspection on these questions may throw up an answer to understand the internal vacuum and to discover a way to get out of the low mood. I attempted the above approach for myself and found me coming out with a fresh perspective and renewed energy.

Any long spells of low mood needs more closer look and must be addressed at the earliest.

WHY VALUES ? (Part - 2)

Let me continue to share my thoughts on why values (See Part I of WHY VALUES blog post dated May 22-08).

I keep hearing, just as many of you must have heard, that values, principles etc are not for the present day competition. Many people who are aspiring for success, who are working their way up in life, and who are keen on accumulating wealth (in India we call them middle-class) have this notion that principled living, value-based living does not take us far. It won't allow us to grow. Such notion stems from the belief that the world around us is all bad and smart. To survive in such world, we can’t be good and true to our values.

In fact, in many seminars and conferences, I face this question that what you are saying about values is good for conference, but not in real world. They quote sometimes examples of their bosses who grew up the corporate ladder by following not necessarily values and principles. The mantra is therefore - success at any cost!

Prima facie, their argument seems to be having some truth in it however unacceptable to me internally. I know there is something missing. I can quote Built-to-last - a classic book on successful habits of visionary companies. But it all sounds very defensive to push through my agenda of values. I wanted some way where in I don’t have to be pushing too hard, but rather the audience see it for themselves.

I asked them the question: How many of you consider yourself as moderate to high success so far in your life and career? As expected, many hands went up proudly.

Then came my next question: How many of you followed crooked ways and broken your principles to reach where you have successfully reached today?

There was an uneasy silence. I thought point was almost made.

I said" when none of you broken your principles and values and still achieved moderate to high success so far, what gives you the impression that to be successful you need to shed your values and principles?"

To top it up, I asked another question. How many of you like to guide your children towards value-less, principle-less living?

There was silence all over.

I broke it again. So, while we may say and see some examples of successes that are not based on values, mostly we believe in it. But the question of "WHY VALUES" needs to be addressed for our satisfaction. Can I have your thoughts on it?

This time the responses were more spontaneous. The main reasons why we need values are:

• Values give us peace of mind


• We can be true to ourselves


• We don’t have to feel guilty


• We can have our heads high


• Our image will be in tact


• It can attract better reputation


• People tend to trust us more


• Our potential risk will be lower
  
  And lastly, some one summed up the whole discussion beautifully by saying:

"Values give us stability, lasting power and pay off in the long run"

Isn't that a strong enough business case for values?