Help and move on....don't look back!

• Do you recall how it felt when you helped an old woman with heavy luggage at a railway station or airport? 
• How was the feeling when you stood up and offered your seat in a bus to a lady with kids? 
• Do you remember those scores of students who surrounded with questions and sought your advice after your talk? How did it feel when you answered all those? 
• How was the feeling of extending a hand to the person who fell off from a bike?
• What was the experience when you went to nearby old age home and served them with food? 

As I recall, every such moment added a fresh meaning to my existence. I experienced pure joy of doing my bit to help others...

There was not even a momentary expectation of any returns from them. The joy diminishes and the grief starts only when you know them, and therefore expect a favor, gratitude etc. It hurts badly when you extend help to known people (and thereby expecting a sense of reverence or gratitude) and they do not acknowledge! 

The beauty lies in doing your bit ...not even thinking what they will do in return! 

Choose those people who are 'no body', offer your help and simply walk away! 

That Humming Inside...

We all heard the a general philosophy of life - "TAKE IT EASY". 

Probably, it helped us a great deal when we are under immense stress and undue pressure.  Like many, I also took myself easy and never looked at myself seriously. On a few occasions when something happened and when I inadvertently thought of the same, I got connected with my inner self. We all know it, right? 

That 'buzz', that 'humming' inside ourselves... you know what I mean.... that inner voice started throwing up some thoughts and I dared to listen to them. And I became a student of myself and ME-AS-MY-TEACHER :-) 

Listening to the inner teachings, I believe, will expand the depth and breadth of my insights and hopefully will help me grow into a better human being ....

I am a bad shopper!

This evening, I went through a huge mall....with all the glitter, crowds, perfumes, eateries, display of luxury, convenience for some and necessity of a few...

I had money with me...but no desire to buy! I was rather searching for something that was worth buying at that time, but could not convince myself.

Is it that I already have all that was there in the mall? 

No.

Is it that I do not have any need to buy them? 

Perhaps yes. I did not find any 'need,....not even want! 

Why? This question was intriguing me. I walked around and got tired, but did not buy. Why?

Is it that I was conserving cash? Not a conscious attempt. I simply did not feel the need to buy. 

I then realized that perhaps I am keeping my needs at a minimum level and therefore do not have any fascination of possessing any more. 

• Does it help to maintain my needs at minimum level?
• Then what is my motivation to work? to earn? 
• Then what is the meaning and purpose of money? 

As Mr Anand Mahindra said, after a certain stage, is money a surrogate measure of success only? 

Perhaps yes! 

Why Do We Put up with Some People

We come across a variety of people in various walks of life. Some of them turn out to be long lasting relationships and some of them last just a short journey.

Is it right to assume that all the long lasting ones are strong? Do they have complete understanding and perfect compatibility? I do not think so; It may be too idealistic to think that all the long lasting relationships are perfect paintings. It may be that we learn to cope, adjust or put up with less-than-the-ideal relationship.

The key question therefore is: Why do we put up with some people, knowingly that the relationship is anything other than perfect?

Reasons surely vary from person to person.

• It could be the dependency for some essential needs.
• It could be because of socials stigma.
• It could be that I do not want to hurt someone by breaking away.
• It could be a sense of guilt of caring for self
• It could be that others pressurize to put up with.

Irrespective of the reasons, one thing is sure; it is important to carry out a pain-benefit analysis. What is the pain and what is the benefit for putting up with the pain? There could be many who may realize that for no gain, they are putting up with pain. 

In such cases, it is a matter of gathering personal courage to stand up to oneself and assert. Ask oneself: who am I pleasing at the cost of displeasing myself? 

tolerance is good virtue to possess; breaking relationships is a sure sign of intolerance and lack of adjustment among human beings. However, intolerance is required when the differences are at fundamental level related to value system. 

After all, would you like to save relationship at the cost of compromising your value-system? Is the relationship so very valuable that you lose yourself? If it were to be so important, you would not have been intolerant in the first place. 

Think about it! 

Humbling Experience to show gratitude

In India, we celebrate September 5 as Teacher's Day.

Since morning I have been experiencing multitude of feelings...recalling all those who contributed in making me what I am today. Going through a sense of gratitude is a very humbling experience.....by showing gratitude, we don't grow any smaller, that is the beauty!

It is simple yet not-so-often-quoted truth that we have not become what we are all by ourselves, however self-made persons we are....the moment we acknowledge that fact, we become humble and more humane.

Under the garb of being confident, let us not forget the humbling experience of showing our gratitude!

Despair and Hope next to each other

Yesterday I had this interesting experience when I was on a B-School campus. I was scheduled to have a luncheon discussion with one of my past students - who just completed the course and about to leave the campus. I thought he wanted some advice for his career.

When I joined him over the lunch table, he was all to nervous as to how to start. Slowly, he opened up saying he was not successful yet in getting a job offer and he was very anxious. In fact, he left his earlier job to pursue the management degree and now he is finding it delicate to share this news back home. What can I tell them? How long can I wait? What should I do? who can help me? How long can I hang around the campus? Why did I fail to get a job when some of my classmates managed to get? He was all nervous and anxious.

I had to empathize with him, encourage him, advice him and reassure him. I felt sad to see him in that state (i could recall how he was one of those very informal and somewhat casual student in the class)...he was all in despair...

As we were discussing over lunch, there came a family on the next table. We could make out from their discussions that the boy came to join the course and his parents came along to make him feel comfortable on the campus. He was oozing confidence and looking all trendy in his new clothes specially bought for the B-School campus. His head was high and there was a jig in the step...a sense of achievement for getting admission into the new course in the prestigious B-School. He was all with pride, hope and confidence...

I exchanged a glance with the student on my table...he had a tired smile on his face...it explained to me the thin difference between hope and despair...

What started well may not end well; what is not going well may not remain like that forever.

What will they think?

Today, I made a mistake while performing my job. I sent some incomplete information while sending an e-mail. I realized shortly after the mail was released. I apologized to the concerned person and wanted to release the corrected mail.

Till I modified and sent the revised mail, I was so restless with myself. I was guilty of my mistake. Such silly mistake while sending such important information? What will they think??

There I am...what will they think? All the restlessness in me was because of the fear of what will they think or because of the realization that I made a mistake? Is it okay to constantly think what will others think? Do I need to be self-critical?